This one's for you, Liam!
15 Reasons Why You Should Move To Portland
1. Free rent. Live in our extra bedroom (unless you want to snuggle with the pup) and stay there for free until you start making lots and lots of money. Then we'll charge you rent.
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2. Portland=Brooklyn anyways, basically, except for one thing (see #1 above). Portland has more vegans/hipsters/lumberjacks/famer's markets (see #6)/bikes/babies/coffee/beer than you could ever imagine getting in Brooklyn.
3. Think you'll miss NY's subways? Think again. Here in Portland, we have the MAX lightrail. Four beautiful colors that go the same route every day from 6am to midnight and never skip stops. And they travel at a more peaceful pace, so you can enjoy the view, too.
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Not to mention that they look super hi-tech and rugged.
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4. Portland has food. Lots of it. Awesome restaurants, excellent eateries, lots of happy hours, and even food from trucks. Or carts, if you want to sound rustic. Lots of those. We also buy groceries and will share with you. If you're nice. And if you cook for us occasionally.
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5. When you're sick of eating food (#4), there's beer. Lots of beer. And we're not talking glorified water, i.e. PBR or Coors Light. Although there is a time and place for each of those. We are talking craft brew, straight from the tap, full of local beery goodness.
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6. Portland goes crazy for farmers' markets. As in, on any given Saturday in summer, you could go market hopping, and hit like 12-20 different markets within a 30 mile radius. What more could you need?
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7. We have an ice cream shop called Salt & Straw that makes ridiculously good ice cream. Crazy flavors too, like ice creams with sourdough, strawberries, peppers, bleu cheese... really, with this reason, you don't really need the 14 others. For example, one of the flavors currently offered is called Brown Ale with Bacon. Yeah, that's right. BEER in ice cream, with BACON. Not just deliciously crispy bacon, CANDIED bacon. I don't understand why you aren't buying your plane ticket this instant.
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8. Billy. I agree that this reason isn't quite as exciting as #7 above, but moving out to PDX gives you time with the big brother you never really had and weren't really sure you wanted. But on the plus side, he does love beer and ice cream. And he would definitely eat them together with bacon.
9. If big brothers don't excite you, then maybe come here for a little brother - even this one likes beer! I promise you that Bentley will become your new best friend and even your snuggle buddy if you want. He's a lot more fun than cats, at least. :)
10. Moving on to more practical things, there are several TV shows that film in Portland, and therefore might need writers/writing support. Leverage is one of them. Never seen the show, but pretty sure they use a script of some sort.
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Grimm is another. I have seen this once before, and it's amusing. And maybe they need writers.
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Portlandia is another, but we'll get to that later.
11. Nature is overly abundant out here. We're super close to Mount Hood (read=snowboarding/snow activities). In the summer (i.e. two weeks in August), it's great for hiking too.
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12. Speaking of hiking, there are lots of places for that, with easy drives, too. And we like hiking, so we'll take you with us.
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13. Portland is 50 miles closer to NY than is Santa Clara, which means that it's only 3,000 miles away. Just a hop, skip, and a jump to the East Coast. But seriously - the money you save from Reason #1 will allow you to easily buy a plane ticket back for any interviews or auditions or whatever that might come up.
14. Portland has a kick a-- soccer team with even cooler fans. I mean, really - how many other fans would weild two axes within inches of their baby's face, or let their three-year-old ballerina hold an axe?
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15. And finally, Portlandia. Not only a potential job opportunity, not only a great show to watch, but it also represents like 47 other reasons why you should move to Portland. As they say, it's the place where young people go to retire. Just spend an afternoon going through all the episodes and THEN tell me you're still unconvinced. I dare you. And put a bird on it.
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